My every waking moment is ruled by to do lists. At work I have one legal pad entirely devoted to a giant ongoing to do list. It is The Master List. Everyday things are added, crossed off, highlighted, and doodled.
Then, each morning I make a smaller to do list. This one goes on a sticky note which I stick right in front of my keyboard and it is Holy-Shit-Do-This-Yesterday List.
Finally, there’s the ongoing list in my head, which is rarely written down and never turns off. “Pay that bill. Sign up for that seminar. Call that person. Visit that person. Make that appointment. Let’s think obsessively for the millionth time about whether or not you did that or that wrong. Confirm those plans….” and on and on. The reason it is constantly on repeat in my head is because I rarely write it down. Writing it all down is too monumental of a task. But even if written down, I think it would repeat on, unconvinced that writing it out was sufficient to ensure the information is properly stored. This is the It Haunts You List.
There is only one sure way for me to escape all three lists at once: dancing.
Between the turns, leaps, slides, and fish flops, the to do lists fall away, and it’s just me, and my body, and my poor, neglected right brain hanging out and having a good time. Like three friends who rarely see each other, but who are always able to pick back up where they left off.
And it doesn’t even matter that I kinda suck. My ballet-born-and-bred muscles can’t look cool doing hip hop for the life of ‘em. My body is a little too bootylicious to truly master the ups and downs and jumps and turns. My face twists ups in total concentration and devotion to the moment that I look like I’m enduring a fine case of constipation.
The point is there is no point.
This is my zen moment where the world falls away and all I have “to do” is put that foot in front of the other and then do that weird leap-y thing. And in a week like this one, I’m only too grateful for this, and all the weird leap-y things that come with it.
We all need a little more peace and weird leaps in this world of lists we’ve got. I’m sure Buddha or someone wise said that exact statement as well. Totes.